Queen Vashti’s Refusal
10 On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar and Carkas, the seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Ahasuerus, 11 to bring Queen Vashti before the king with her royal crown in order to display her beauty to the people and the princes, for she was beautiful. 12 But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command delivered by the eunuchs. Then the king became very angry and his wrath burned within him.
13 Then the king said to the wise men who understood the times—for it was the custom of the king so to speak before all who knew law and justice 14 and were close to him: Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media who [e]had access to the king’s presence and sat in the first place in the kingdom— 15 “According to law, what is to be done with Queen Vashti, because she did not [f]obey the command of King Ahasuerus delivered by the eunuchs?” 16 In the presence of the king and the princes, Memucan said, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also all the princes and all the peoples who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. 17 For the queen’s conduct will [g]become known to all the women causing them [h]to look with contempt on their husbands by saying, ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in to his presence, but she did not come.’ 18 This day the ladies of Persia and Media who have heard of the queen’s conduct will speak in the same way to all the king’s princes, and there will be plenty of contempt and anger. 19 If it pleases the king, let a royal [i]edict be issued by him and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media so that it cannot [j]be repealed, that Vashti may no longer come into the presence of King Ahasuerus, and let the king give her royal position to [k]another who is more worthy than she. 20 When the king’s edict which he will make is heard throughout all his kingdom, [l]great as it is, then all women will give honor to their husbands, great and small.”
21 This word pleased the king and the princes, and the king did [m]as Memucan proposed. 22 So he sent letters to all the king’s provinces, to each province according to its script and to every people according to their language, that every man should be the master in his own house and the one who speaks in the language of his own people.
Quite frankly, King Ahasuerus acted like a fool, and did not treat his queen as God tells men to treat their wives. Indeed, in that culture, with the way they treated women, there may have been an uprising, but let’s back up a bit.
In the midst of the celebration, Vashti shows what Ahasuerus had thrown out the window, modesty. She was not a trophy or a slave to parade around at the king’s whim. No, she knew her value, and that it was not in becoming like one of the many peacocks that may have paraded around the palace garden.
Likely, she also knew Ahasuerus was not in his right mind, and did not want to play into his drunken fancies. Whatever the case, she did what any woman should have done, and refused to be treated like a mere possession. One might blame it on the culture, but I don’t know of any culture that has gotten things right. And why should they, if they ignore what God says, or pick and choose their favorite tidbits from His Word.
Our culture certainly hasn’t progressed much, with all our talk of “women’s rights” and the “feminist movement”. Sure, we’ve gotten a few things right, but women are often treated as little more than pawns, while being told it’s all for their good. In reality, money and a lust for power drive people to abuse women and throw them away like refuse. So what does God really think about women? Perhaps we should actually look at the Bible and read it thoroughly to find out.
Some like to make much of the Bible passage that tells women to submit to their husbands, and they promptly discard the context. That is, men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, willing to lay down their lives. Without this balance in marriage, one is either going to have an overbearing wife who emasculates her husband, or an ogre who demotes his wife to the value of a slug.
Jesus died for men and women alike, and while God created us each with different strengths, ultimately He knows what is best for us–even if we don’t like to hear it. We also have weaknesses, and often God matches us up with someone who will fill those weaknesses, or push us to overcome them. God’s view is indeed counter-cultural, and we would do well to pay attention to His “agape” love shown to the church. It is the best model for how to treat each other, in marriage or otherwise. Ignore that, and you’ll be running around in circles vying for power that isn’t yours to have (man or woman alike). Follow His lead, and you’ll find a love both challenging and rewarding, beyond anything our world claims to endorse.