9 “[k][l]What kind of beloved is your beloved,
O most beautiful among women?
[m]What kind of beloved is your beloved,
That thus you adjure us?”
Admiration by the Bride
10 “[n]My beloved is dazzling and ruddy,
[o]Outstanding among ten thousand.
11 “His head is like gold, pure gold;
His locks are like clusters of dates
And black as a raven.
12 “His eyes are like doves
Beside streams of water,
Bathed in milk,
And [p]reposed in their setting.
13 “His cheeks are like a bed of balsam,
Banks of sweet-scented herbs;
His lips are lilies
Dripping with liquid myrrh.
14 “His hands are rods of gold
Set with beryl;
His abdomen is carved ivory
Inlaid with [q]sapphires.
15 “His legs are pillars of alabaster
Set on pedestals of pure gold;
His appearance is like Lebanon
Choice as the cedars.
16 “His [r]mouth is full of sweetness.
And he is wholly desirable.
This is my beloved and this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem.”
The bride’s friends (the daughters of Jerusalem), ask what seems to be a silly question in v. 9. Not only that, but they ask it twice! The alternative translation in the footnotes sheds some light on it, “What is your beloved more than another beloved?” If we also look at the previous passage, it offers some clues too.
In essence, they are asking, “What makes him so special? Why is it that you pine and have such wild dreams on account of this man?” So she proceeds to tell them, in vv. 10-16, and she spares no details. This is one fine specimen of manhood, “and he is wholly desirable.” Yet none of that would really matter but for the latter part of v. 16, “This is my beloved and this is my friend…”
Her friends might well look at him and confirm his appeal, but they don’t know him like she does. And they haven’t had fitful nights, losing sleep on account of his absence. Certainly, some marriages in that day, and even still today, were matters of convenience. They were arranged, and the happiness of the couple was secondary to the benefits of the union between two families, or the dowry that might be provided.
That said, one has to wonder what kind of parents were so selfish, and whether it was really all that common. In royal marriages though, one can certainly see plenty of evidence throughout history of alliances forged by weddings that joined countries, fragile though those bonds might have been. At any rate, that is not this story.
Many a marriage grows cold and dies for the lack of this character, because a couple moves from friends, head over heels with each other, to mere roommates. It might as well have been random chance that brought them together, for all the affection. May it not be so with you or I! While Solomon and his bride may have still had the benefit of infatuation, that does not last, and then we must intentionally “be friends”. May God help us to be intentional with our marriages so that we can truly claim more than roommates, but friends that have become one flesh.