8 “[j]If you yourself do not know,
Most beautiful among women,
Go forth on the trail of the flock
And pasture your young goats
By the tents of the shepherds.9 “[k]To me, my darling, you are like
My mare among the chariots of Pharaoh.
10 “Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments,
Your neck with strings of beads.”11 “[l]We will make for you ornaments of gold
With beads of silver.”12 “[m]While the king was at his [n]table,
My [o]perfume gave forth its fragrance.
13 “My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh
Which lies all night between my breasts.
14 “My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
In the vineyards of Engedi.”15 “[p][q]How beautiful you are, my darling,
[r]How beautiful you are!
Your eyes are like doves.”16 “[s][t]How handsome you are, my beloved,
And so pleasant!
Indeed, our couch is luxuriant!
17 “The beams of our houses are cedars,
Our rafters, [u]cypresses.
“If you yourself do not know…” It kind of reminds me of folks who say, “I told you I loved you once, and if anything changes, you’ll be the first to know…” To be sure, that’s not very romantic, but it’s worse than that. Fortunately, the bridegroom doesn’t stop there. Yes, he jests that perhaps the woman should go chase after the other shepherds, but he follows it up with reinforcement that she is indeed most beautiful to him.
I don’t know that this unique to our culture, but we often see love as an emotional thing, that it just happens. If it is “true love”, it will blossom and grow with no tending… right? Right?? But none of that is true, because love is active, and if we are not active and intentional about our love, it will wither and die.
Instead, we could take some cues from Solomon. Perhaps our mate will not cherish the idea of being compared to a mare who distracts all the stallions of Pharaoh, and we shouldn’t be so lazy as to just steal Solomon’s lines–though most of them are pretty good. Either way, be intentional, be authentic, and let your spouse know how much you care about them.
Follow through with your actions, let them reinforce your words, and cultivate your relationship with care and attention.