10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with her [h]hands [i]in delight.
14 She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And [j]portions to her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From [k]her earnings she plants a vineyard.
This chapter sets a pretty high standard for the gals, though not out of reach. But I’m a man, and you might be too, wondering how this could apply? Sure, it shows us what we should look for in a wife, but what if we’re already married? I guess that ship has sailed!? No, there are some lessons, for all of us.
First, look at the description, this wife does amazing things, and is a “Jack of all trades”. Wait, maybe that should be “Jill of all trades”? Whatever the case, she shops for deals, then turns those deals into works of art. She prepares food at no small inconvenience to herself, and even keeps an eye out for a good piece of land to increase her earnings. Whew, what a woman!
In all of this, she has a singular goal, and truthfully, none of it would be possible otherwise: “She does him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life.” Her eyes aren’t on herself, her life is devoted to service. So then, us guys can just sit back and relax. Find a good wife, and she’ll take care of you forever… right??
Sure, do that, and see how long your marriage lasts! No, here come those lessons, ready? A good husband, no, an “excellent husband” has the same heart. He is not out for number one, not self-serving or full of selfish ambition. When he “goes out and kills something and drags it home”–even if that’s working in an office all day–it is not for himself, but for his wife and children. And also, it ought to be for his co-workers and company. If they thrive, he thrives, and in it all, he just have the heart of a servant.
Paul wrote, “He must love her (his wife) as Christ loved the church”, and we know how that ended. Jesus laid down his life for us, we should be willing to do no less for our families. Now maybe, you say, “I don’t have a wife like that, wish I did!” I would challenge you (as I am myself, even with an amazing wife), are you keeping up your end of the bargain?
Men and women alike, are we in relationships for what we get out of it, or for what we can bring to the table. I’m playing this silly game right now, and there’s an option where you can help other players and earn rewards. If someone is in it for the help they get, or the rewards, it won’t be much fun for everyone else as they take, and take, and take some more. So it is in real life, we were created to serve, as Jesus served us. Be diligent in all you do, and do it not just for others, but “as unto the Lord”.