10 Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend,
And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity;
Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.
11 Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad,
That I may reply to him who reproaches me.
12 A prudent man sees evil and hides himself,
The [g]naive proceed and pay the penalty.
13 Take his garment when he becomes surety for a stranger;
And for an [h]adulterous woman hold him in pledge.
14 He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning,
It will be reckoned a curse to him.
15 A constant dripping on a day of steady rain
And a contentious woman are alike;
16 He who would [i]restrain her [j]restrains the wind,
And [k]grasps oil with his right hand.
17 Iron sharpens iron,
So one man sharpens another.
18 He who tends the fig tree will eat its fruit,
And he who cares for his master will be honored.
The first couple verses seem a little strange, but I don’t have a brother, so maybe it would make more sense to someone who does. But Solomon also said, “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” While brothers perhaps ought to be good friends, there’s no substitute for a good friend, because they chose you.
So Solomon tells us to go to our friends in time of trouble, and then gives us a few pointers on picking good friends. Don’t hang out with the naive who walk straight into trouble, but rather the prudent who sees it coming and avoids trouble. (v. 12) You wouldn’t be surety (cosign a loan) for a stranger, so why would you be friends with such a person? (v. 13).
People who have no self-awareness should be avoided (v. 14), much like the contentious woman. You can’t stop her, nor should you waste time trying. In all of these, Solomon shows us who to avoid, but also how to be a good friend. Not that the list is exhaustive, but if we want to be a good friend, we will also avoid all these same traps.
Ultimately, the goal is found in v. 17, for iron to sharpen iron. A good friend builds up his friends, and they him. God built us for relationships, first with Him, but also with our fellow sojourners on this earth. We will face trouble and adversity, and when we do, we need God, but also good friends to help us make it through to the other side.