23 The north wind brings forth rain,
And a [r]backbiting tongue, an angry countenance.
24 It is better to live in a corner of the roof
Than [s]in a house shared with a contentious woman.
25 Like cold water to a weary soul,
So is good news from a distant land.
26 Like a trampled spring and a [t]polluted well
Is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.
27 It is not good to eat much honey,
Nor is it glory to search out [u]one’s own glory.
28 Like a city that is broken into and without walls
Is a man who has no control over his spirit.
Solomon gives us more weather analogies, though v. 23 is likely also very literal. When the north wind comes, and it’s rainy and cold (or snowing), many get more cantankerous. That doesn’t give us an excuse to behave poorly, but rather opportunity to let His light shine through us even more. If it’s better to sleep on the roof than share a house with a contentious woman, how much better to have peace in the house and a roof over our heads?
It takes two to fight (usually), but only one to bring peace, to be the cool water for a weary soul (v. 25). As we are reminded doubly in 26 and 28, giving in to what is wrong is no good either. But how often are marriage fights about what is right and wrong and rather a matter of opinion. Sure, one way is likely better, but you won’t find it trying to prove yourself right.
Solomon tells us flat out not to search out our own glory, and so many disagreements, in marriage or otherwise, would end if we could put away our pride for a moment. As we’ve been told previously, there’s no honor in arguing with a fool anyway, so if the other party doesn’t want to see reason, we’ve already lost the battle. In marriage, sooner or later (better if it is sooner), we need to resolve our disagreements.
Instead of trying to win our way, search for a middle ground, or even better, search for God’s way. And if God isn’t in the middle of it, then it probably isn’t worth winning anyway, and certainly not worth being the contentious spouse. Let God bring cool water, refreshing and peaceful, to your marriage, and all your relationships by keeping your pride out of the way and seeking Him first.