8 Do not go out hastily to [a]argue your case;
[b]Otherwise, what will you do in [c]the end,
When your neighbor humiliates you?
9 [d]Argue your case with your neighbor,
And do not reveal the secret of another,
10 Or he who hears it will reproach you,
And the evil report about you will not [e]pass away.11 Like apples of gold in settings of silver
Is a word spoken in [f]right circumstances.
12 Like [g]an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold
Is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
13 Like the cold of snow in the [h]time of harvest
Is a faithful messenger to those who send him,
For he refreshes the soul of his masters.
14 Like clouds and wind without rain
Is a man who boasts [i]of his gifts falsely.
As we continue through the chapter, this passage has some echoes from the previous passage. This one though, focuses more on our words, and showing discretion. Like the previous verses, there is the reminder not to be puffed up or proud. If someone else wants to praise you, that’s one thing, but for you to boast… well, Solomon has an apt analogy in v. 14.
Rather than “clouds and wind without rain”, we are to be like “apples of gold” or any other “ornament of fine gold”. Even a “cold snow in harvest” is better than empty blowing of wind. It can be even worse though, when we are so sure of ourselves. Solomon illustrates this in vv. 8-10. If we are so hasty, and sure of ourselves, that we take someone to court, how will we feel when we are wrong and they humiliate us?
Not so good, and yet this applies to many areas and disagreements. It is far better to resolve such things in private than to air your grievance for the whole world–only to be spurned in shame when the facts don’t line up the way we thought they would. Such a public display doesn’t just disappear, even more so when convened on the Internet, as so many are fond of doing.
Once more, each of us must watch our tongue, and doubly watch our pride. Keep your certainty in check, don’t try to embarrass someone else. There’s no glory in that, and certainly no love, and you may find yourself on the wrong end of the whole ordeal. Resolve your disputes in private, and be refreshing, and even cooling, so that things do not get out of hand, but let the love you have in God be on full display, not your own abilities or wisdom.