10 A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding
Than a hundred blows into a fool.
11 A rebellious man seeks only evil,
So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.
12 Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs,
Rather than a fool in his folly.
13 He who returns evil for good,
Evil will not depart from his house.
14 The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.
15 He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous,
Both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord.
16 Why is there a price in the hand of a fool to buy wisdom,
When [e]he has no sense?
17 A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity.
18 A man lacking in [f]sense [g]pledges
And becomes guarantor in the presence of his neighbor.
There are a lot of good word pictures in this passage, and the one in v. 14 is so accurate. Imagine a pail of water, and then dump it out. Can you put the water back in? Maybe you’ll collect some, but generally it’s gone, and just needs to be cleaned up.
So it is when we let strife break into a full-blown quarrel or argument. Both of you say things you wouldn’t have otherwise said, and when it’s all said and done, you can’t unsay them. Solomon instructs us then, to pay attention, and when we see a fight coming, give it up. Not that we can’t have disagreements, but if it becomes anything other than civil, stop and take a break.
We often hear of family strife, but if we have any sense at all, and especially as followers of God, we should represent v. 17 instead. Be a friend who loves at all times, and a brother (or sister) born for adversity. Be someone who others can count on when they are in the thick of it, rather than the one who put them in the thick of battle.
Before we go, Solomon has one last tip for us, which seems maybe unrelated. But in v. 18, he makes it clear that someone who becomes a guarantor, that is someone who guarantees a promise for someone else (like co-signing a loan), is lacking in sense (a fool). Why?
If you don’t know the person, then no harm done? Well, if you don’t know the person well enough, then you’re already a fool to make promises for them. So typically this is going to be close friends and family, folks you think would never bail on their word. This is a recipe for strife, which we’ve just been instructed to avoid. Any mistake on the part of your friend will cause you to question their choices, and if you’re not careful, it’ll spill out into a full-blown quarrel.
Instead, don’t put your friend, or yourself, into that precarious position. That’s part of being family, and a good friend, that you want what is best for them, even if it isn’t comfortable. But stick with them through it all, and ask God for strength, wisdom, and patience, because you’ll need it, we all do.